asurprisecalling

Following our calling to the Dominican Republic


2 Comments

Sum of your mistakes

emoji ugh

“You are the sum of all of your past mistakes”.

This was a lie from satan that I believed about myself for so long.  It was truly something that had kept me in chains for so long.

Today, God spoke the exact same phrase to me, but in the form of a promise.

“Tamara, you are the sum of all of your past mistakes because that is where I grew you and molded you.”

I began to think about all of the biblical figures that messed up royally…and how God used these exact people for His glory.

Take David, for example. Man, what was he even thinking?  He had an affair with a married woman, and she became pregnant.  His solution?  Let’s have her husband killed and then she can come live with me. (Oh my word, how many times has our own best thinking gotten us in an even bigger mess???)

Yet….BECAUSE OF  ALL OF HIS MISTAKES…God continued to refer to him as “a man after my own heart”.  He redeemed him and made him king of Israel.  

Then, there was Gomer.  She was a prostitute.  God sent her a PROPHET for a husband.   She continued to return to her old ways over and over because they were known and comfortable. (Can you even imagine the church gossip that ensued?!)

YET…BECAUSE OF ALL OF HER MISTAKES…God sent Hosea to relentlessly and recklessly pursue her heart!  Because God is a faithful lover of our souls.  He did this as an example to all of us of His unconditional love and his ability to redeem even the most undeserving wanderers.

Then, there was Peter, who betrayed Jesus in His final hours of life.  Peter was part of Jesus’ posse. And, still, Peter denied even knowing Him THREE times the night before Jesus’ death.

YET…BECAUSE OF ALL OF HIS MISTAKES…when the angels descended, Jesus sent a message through them to “his disciples and Peter”.  He named Peter specifically, and continued to use Peter as a disciple to preach of the gospel after His crucifixion. 

I don’t know about any of you but this gives me great hope!

I also know that I don’t learn anything from the mountaintop, where things are good and mistake and problem free. The mountaintop has always been my resting place, where I rejuvenate for my next trek into the valley.  I am thankful that God loves me and sees value in me that He takes me to the valley.  There has never been a time that a mistake or hard time has not taught me a lesson that I would need for the next assignment that God has for me. He promises us this:

“Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:4

 

If God can use David, Gomer, and Peter BECAUSE OF their mistakes, then…

Yes, I am a sum of my past mistakes because they grew me to be the person that I am today.  

A person in which God sees worth and wants to use for His glory!

So, let go of that shame that you are holding onto for saying or doing the wrong thing.  Let go of those feelings of worthlessness because you, too, screwed up royally.  Let go of those hateful or judgmental words of others that play over and over in your head like a broken record. Yeah, you can stop beating yourself up.  (Seriously though, stop that crap!) God will use your mistakes, screw ups, and hard times to mature you and complete you so that you are not lacking anything! God created all of us with a purpose that only we can complete!  YOU were the one specifically created for that purpose that will glorify Him!

Gosh, THAT is some freedom that I can dance in.  Can I get an amen?


Leave a comment

Getting a mammogram Part 1

IMG_6154Occasionally, when we go to the Capital, we will get a pedicure or get a shampoo and blow dry.  It’s a little luxury that we allot for ourselves, a way for us to experience a little of our past lives in the States.  To get a pedicure that includes that most fabulous foot massage ever is only 500 pesos…the equivalent to about $11 US.  A shampoo and blow dry is only 250 pesos…the equivalent to about $5.50 US.

IMG_6222

I was just thinking the other day how this country has that figured out.  Every woman feels better when she is able to pamper herself occasionally.  These prices are affordable for most all social economic groups, which I think is genius!  In the states, we pay 3 or 4 X the cost for these same services.

Do you know what they don’t have figured out?  Health care for women.  I know that most could agree that the US struggles in this area as well.  I haven’t had a mammogram since I moved here 2.5 years ago, and am at high risk for breast cancer due to family history.  I knew it was time to be responsible and get this done.  I am sure that I could have found a doctor in the Capital that would charge a little more and possibly offered a better service.  However, I wanted to understand what my girlfriends had to experience in order to get health care.

As I was talking to my dear friend, Morena, she stated that she was needing to get a mammogram too.  We decided to go together to do this….because, clearly:Friends mamo pic

She knew of a clinic in a community about 20 minutes away that offers mammograms, and it only cost 1000 pesos, which is equivalent to a little over $22 US.  I was blown away by this!  In the US, I think that I still had to pay over $200 AFTER my insurance had paid a large amount of it!IMG_6448

We made a plan to leave early on Thursday morning to beat the crowd.  Unfortunately, they don’t take appointments.  It’s a “first come, first serve” basis.  We left at 7:30 because the clinic opens at 8:00.  When we got there, we only had to wait for about 5 people to fill out their paperwork ahead of us.  Maybe I should stop for a second and explain that this clinic offers numerous services, like echocardiograms, sonograms, dental care, and braces, as well as mammograms.  Yes, that all makes sense!  Now, if they could only offer veterinarian care for my goats, and mechanical care for my truck, I could totally get into this.  One stop shopping, baby!IMG_6447

Once we got up to the front desk, the lady said “We only do mammograms on Fridays from 9:00-12:00”.  Ok, then…

Morena decides that she is going to call that afternoon to make sure they are doing mammograms the following day and to try to get an appointment.  They “don’t take appointments but are doing mammograms tomorrow”, they say.

We left today at 8:00 because the clinic starts taking patients at 9:00 for mammograms.  When we get to the front desk, the lady says, “La doctora no viene”, which means “The doctor did not come.”  That’s all…no other explanation!  She did tell us that we could come back tomorrow…that they are going to do mammograms on Saturday…

I don’t even know what to think about all of this.  I think about all the times that I have complained about having to wait 15-30 minutes for my doctor in the States…in a plush, air conditioned, carpeted waiting area with magazines and television.  If the doctor “no viene”, I got a phone call.  When you have an appointment, then they have your number to call you.  That luxury does not exist for this clinic.  It’s so hard for me to wrap my brain around it.  These ladies have to pay a lot of money just to get to the clinic…only to be turned away…and return again…and possibly again, but they do it because they need health care.

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.~~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Not one time did I see anyone get angry or share a cross word.  These women teach me everyday how to be strong in spirit, trust in the Lord, and show His love even in difficult situations.  I have so much more to learn from them!

I am not able to go tomorrow or next week, so we are going to try again in 2 weeks.  Cross your fingers, throw salt over your shoulder, and pray that we will be seen and that “la doctora viene”!


Leave a comment

Trusting

This is a DC3.  We will be flying in one of these with our stuff to the DR

This is a DC3. We will be flying in one of these with our stuff to the DR

One month from today we will be boarding a plane with our stuff to move to our home in the Dominican Republic.  So many emotions are surging through our home right now.  Fear, excitement, sadness, and happiness are just a few.  Anticipation is one of the main ones!  Each of us has visited our new home country.  However, LIVING there will be a whole new experiences.  We have been anticipating this moment for almost a year (3 years from the time that Mo first approached me with the idea).

WE. ARE. READY!  

IT. IS TIME!!!

Most of our furniture is sold, except for a couple of pieces.  We believe that Mo’s truck is sold but we haven’t sold my Expedition yet.  The house is neither sold nor rented.  This is definitely a leap of faith for us in this aspect!  We are trusting God on this one!!!

We are having a Goodbye Party/ Silent Auction on January 5th.  This will be a chance to get rid of the remainder of the little stuff.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, this is an opportunity for us to say “goodbye” to so many people that we have shared life with for the past 8 years.  Saying “goodbye” will be the hardest thing that we will have to do!

Our “to-do” list continues to get shorter…then longer…every day!  Right now we are trying to figure out the logistical part of the move.  Is the house going to be completely finished when we move there? How do we get our stuff from Santiago to La Represa?  How do we get our car in Santo Domingo to La Represa?  How are we going to do all of this with 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 frazzled parents, and a ton of storage containers?  Once again, trusting God!

More than once, we have been talking to people about how we came to this decision.  Each time we see a new way in which God had a hand in this from the beginning.  We can look back many years ago to see the path being paved for just this moment!!!  We have, and will continue, to trust that God will work all of this out for His will and His plan.  I have always been a planner with a “type A” personality.  I still tend to get caught up in all of the task needing to be done and let them weight me down.  I have heard Him speak to me more than once throughout this experience…

“One day at a time…one task at a time…”

Then I can breathe and remember…

He has been planning this for many years. I know that I can just relax because it will all work out in the end because…

GOD’S. FREAKIN’ GOT. THIS! :O)