I guess this is segment 1 to publicly writing about our transition, the victories and struggles that have come from returning from the mission field and the messy aftermath of it all. I will write about the physical challenges that I have *hopefully* begun to overcome, the various emotions that come from readjusting to a known, but now, unfamiliar culture, and working through spiritual wounds that have ripped so many of our beliefs wide open.
One of the hardest parts of returning from the mission field to the city from which you left is this subconscious belief/expectation that you are simply returning to your old life. BUT, you’re not…not even close. We were gone for almost 5 years. Although our life here had been paused, no one else’s had.
For us, also, EVERYTHING has changed.
Our home is MUCH smaller. Our bank account is MUCH smaller. We are restarting our business from the ground up AGAIN. Our friend circle is (necessarily) MUCH smaller. Since we left our former church, we no longer have a church community, which has been necessary for certain healing to take place right now.
The BIG one that we are learning is that WE are no longer the same people who left this city and this life. We are trying to navigate a familiar place and space with unfamiliar selves. Until we learn who we are now and what we now believe about church, religion, money, and the U.S. lifestyle, we will continue to feel like visitors of our own lives.
This is our current rumble. It is messy and beautiful all in one. God is meeting us where we are. He is speaking to us. Sometimes, He gives us the answers, guidance, and kick in the butt that we need. Other times, He just pulls up floor space next to us and sits in the sludge quietly with us. And…that’s ok too!