asurprisecalling

Following our calling to the Dominican Republic


2 Comments

A Wall of Warriors

warriorOne thing that I hope everyone knows about me is that I am real.  What you see on social media will be the same thing that you see in my “real life”.  You won’t hear spiritual platitudes coming from my mouth.  I won’t say things just to placate you.  That is both a blessing and a curse.

The reason that I am saying this is because I need all of you to know that.  I hope to show as much of the good, bad, and ugly of me that is socially acceptable.  (Let’s all face it…only your closest of friends see it all!) My hope is that by being honest and vulnerable that you can see God at work.  My hope is that through my own personal struggles and angst that you can see God working in and through me.  My hope is that this gives you hope and points you to the one that seeks your heart!

Yesterday, I posted a plea for prayer on FB.  Over the past month, we have been getting attacked from all sides in ways that we have not made public.  The same thing happened when we were entering the mission field.  We have been a bit shocked that it is happening as we are leaving the field to enter a season of rest and healing. We feel that we aren’t much of a threat right now and couldn’t understand why we were under siege.

Hermanas en Cristo has been doing the War Room bible study, and our recent Women’s Retreat’s theme was “This is War!”, with our focus on becoming Prayer Warriors.  For anyone that has not read Priscilla Shirer’s book, Fervent, she talks about how satan attacks us in all areas of our life to distract us so that we will lose our focus on God. He uses problems in our marriage, our relationships and our finances to distract us.  He wants to take away our passion and our energy so we won’t have the strength to fight.  He uses others to remind us of who we were in our past. Once he distracts and weakens us, then he goes in for the kill.

That is where I was yesterday…distracted and depleted!

How can we fight against that?  Through prayer and scripture!!!

I heard God say, “Ask for help!  Surround your family with a Wall of Prayer Warriors!”.

I needed to “practice what I preach”.

As I reached out on FB, I was nervous for laying it out there for all to see.  I was weak, vulnerable, and sinking! I was nervous about being judged for “being weak in my faith” (<—don’t get me started on that! That is for another day, another post).

We were overwhelmed by love and support! We received so many private messages and words of encouragement, and so many people began praying for us. It did feel like we had a Wall of Prayer Warriors all around us.  It gave us strength to refocus on Him.

There are going to be times in our lives where we don’t have strength to fight alone.  God is always with us and always faithful.  I believe that is why He also provides us with Prayer Warriors to surround us and protect us as we refocus on Him.  God also uses these times to grow and mold us.  He will never let our pain occur in vain.  He always uses that for His good.  God is teaching me to be vulnerable, bold, and to live without fear of judgment. He is teaching me not to listen to what others say about who I am, but to believe who He says I am.  He is showing me that I am not the sum of all of my past mistakes and failures. I hope that my moments of weakness can serve as a testament for Him.  I hope that you can see that no one is perfect in their walk with Christ.  Yes, I definitely hope that you do not see a “perfect Christian”, but that you see a broken person that NEEDS Jesus! I hope that you can see the new story that God is beginning to weave into our lives. I hope to continue to focus and rest in Him.  I hope that you can see that He will always turn something beautiful from the ashes to glorify His name!


6 Comments

God, thank you for coffee creamer

IMG_5328 - Version 2

In a bible study that I attended in the states, there was a single lady in the group.  She spoke one day about how much she wanted a husband.  However, she accepted that God was not ready to bless her with The One yet.  It was during this time that she decided that she would allow God to “court” her.  She wanted to be aware of the ways in which God blessed her, loved on her, rubbed salve over those hurt places in her heart, ways in which He comforted her loneliness, and healed her brokenness.  She began to notice beautiful sunrises and sunsets that she shared with Him.  She noticed how He would use a coworker to place a cup of coffee on her desk.  She noticed how He would gently show her broken places in her heart that needed repairing.  In essence, everything was God’s way of delighting in her and preparing her for His plan in her life.  She was so thankful and sang His praises with tears in her eyes.

Her words have come to me many times since then…

“Find ways in which God is courting you”

I have been trying to be conscious of the ways in which He delights in me and ways that He wants to make my heart smile.  The land in which I currently live is stunningly gorgeous so it’s very easy to see the beautiful landscape that He prepared for me.  I noticed when He answered my prayers for rain to coat the dry, dusty terrain from our current drought.  I also noticed how, in the supermarket the other day, Mo found this:

Well, hello, deliciousness!

Well, hello there, deliciousness!

Yes, my husband knows how to still court me too!  Liquid coffee creamer is something that I have missed sooooo much, so my heart feels like it is being kissed every morning when I drink my coffee.

It is so easy for me to see the physical things and say “Thank you so much, God!”

How about the things that are not physical…that I can’t see or touch?  Am I noticing those things also?

This week, I got a call from our women’s minister at our stateside church.  She told me that they had arranged for me to come to the women’s retreat that is taking place in September.  To say that I was overjoyed is an understatement!  Ever since I heard about this retreat, I have been so sad that I wasn’t able to go.

Now…this is a HUGE change from where I once was and, for that, I am thankful…

Alice_fetal_positionPrior to this time in my life, the thought of going to a women’s retreat would cause me to break out in hives, my breathing would become labored, and my palms would sweat!  I would rather sit in the corner in fetal position poking myself in the eyes with a pencil (<–dramatic effect intended there).

Relationships with women have always been very difficult for me.  Quite honestly, I don’t understand them AT ALL.  Women have never been a “safe” place for me.  With all these “mommy wars” going on, relationships with women have always felt like some kind of competition that I did not sign up for and was not equipped for.  It always felt like women were doing life AT me.  (Glennon Melton wrote exactly how I feel in THIS POST .)  

truthGod wanted to heal this in me and has been teaching me differently by sending women into my life that now speak truths to me, instead of the lies that I believed for so long.  They have loved me for being me.  They have guided me through this crazy maze called “girlfriends”, pointing me to His word and sitting patiently with me when I have wanted to run because it’s JUST SO HARD!

Most importantly, when God sits with me in the mornings, He delights in me.  He tells me, through His word, that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14).  God is my friend, my homie, and my heart!  He knew that He was enough for me…but then He added my husband…and then my kids.  God knew what I needed next was girlfriends but He also knew that He needed to prepare my heart for them.  He taught me how to open my heart to relationships with women.  For this,  I am eternally grateful!

I am so thankful that God sent my church to arrange for me to attend this retreat!  I cannot wait to spend this time with all of these ladies while we sink into His word and pour into each other’s lives.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to show me how to love and receive love from others!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN WHAT WAYS HAVE YOU NOTICED GOD COURTING YOU LATELY?