asurprisecalling

Following our calling to the Dominican Republic

Donde he estado?

7 Comments

nsf checkSomeone once told me that our emotions and relationships are like a bank account.  We naturally make withdrawals daily.  However, if we don’t make deposits…then we will get overdrawn.

That’s exactly where I was…I was feeling a tad bit overdrawn.

Living in a country that worships much differently than you do, and in which, there is a language barrier, church can be a difficult place to grow your faith.  I no longer pray to understand what the pastor is saying.  Now I just pray for God to allow me to feel His presence around me.  My relationship with God is much more intentional and purposeful here.  The time with Him is much more valuable and necessary.  I am no longer being fed the way that I was when I went to the church in the states….

…and I have been feeling distant from Him.stressed out woman

I find myself trying not to feel the things that I am feeling.  I find myself trying to fill my time and body with things that distract me and allow me not to feel.

“Love yourself enough to do whatever is needed to care for your soul”

(from Revealing Jesus by Darlene Zschech)

IMG_5535 - Version 2

So…

I am halfway through a 40 Day Fast that ends on February 21st.  This is not a fast in which I don’t eat for 40 days.  This is a fast from things that I was using to numb myself…so that I could be distracted and not feel.  These things also kept me from growing my relationship with Christ.

This is what it looks like:

~No FB/Instagram/Twitter (I am still on Pinterest but she is pressing her luck and may be eliminated as well because I catch myself just wanting to SCROLL SOMETHING!)

*I would like to thank all of my sweet friends that have sent messages of genuine concern for my well-being.  Many of you have noticed that I have not been on FB lately and sent messages asking if everything is OK.  Truly…super sweet…thank you!

**Just so you know, I still get FB messages through Messenger which sends them straight to my phone like a text message.  When I respond to your message, I am not actually on FB, so I am not breaking my fast. AND, my blog post automatically goes to FB/Twitter.

~No sugar (OH, sweet Jesus…what was I thinking???)

~No soda (In the states, I rarely drank Cokes but, here….they put crack in this stuff!  It’s made with real sugar cane and is highly addictive to me.  Don’t try detoxing from this stuff at home, kids…It ain’t pretty!)

Those are the things that I have been eliminating but I have been adding things that are good for me as well…

~Minimum of 4 fruits/veggies a day

~80 oz. of water a day

~Exercise 6 days a week with 3 of those days being running

For my mind, body, and soul to feel strong, I need to spend time with people that love me, time creating beautiful things (that’s why Pinterest is allowed), thinking time, time to read, time to strengthen my body…and, most importantly….time with God.  These are ways that I make deposits.

During this time, I have been trying to reconnect with myself and God.  I have been praying and journalling and reading and spending time with those that I love, at home and in my community. I have been building a strong body, mind, and soul.  I have been listening for God’s voice and asking Him for guidance.  I have been filling myself with things that feel good and are good for me.

I want to remember that I am a child of God…that is fearfully and wonderfully made.  Somewhere along this journey, I forgot that.  I forgot to look at the beauty that God created in me…and have only been seeing the cracks and jagged, broken edges.

During this time, I have been asking God to empty me of me…

…and fill me with Him…

…That seems like a better option than filling myself full of Oreos…

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Please pray with and for me during this time. Have you ever done a fast?  If so, how did it go? 

7 thoughts on “Donde he estado?

  1. This is a great idea Tamara. I know that I allow too many things to distract me from the truly important people and things in my life. I am eager to hear how it goes and I pray that it will be a time of growth for you. I am inspired and may try it myself. Praying for you all.

    • Yes, it is so easy to allow the distractions of life to interfere with the relationships that should mean most in our lives. This time has given me the opportunity to lean INTO God in so many ways that I was using distractions to keep from doing it before.

  2. Tamera, from this side of the mirror things look so different. I see that God has done so much in you by your allowance . Remembering the fearful young , career minded friend that visited my church that Sunday…I can see such growth in you. Who would have thought that day where you would be today… What possibly can the tomorrows hold? Wow, awesome!

    • God has been so good to this broken, little sinner! Often times, as moms, wives, and busy women, we can get rundown, overdrawn, and tired from doing too much and not giving back to ourselves. When I find myself being just plain grumpy, I know it’s time to slow and make some deposits.

  3. LOVE reading your blog posts. You are gifted in the way you express yourself with words. (among many other gifts) I think you hit the nail on the head for so many of us. We get too busy, with trivial stuff, and take our eyes off of what is truly important and I think that is what the enemy wants. Thank you for your great insight.

    • Thank you, Arden! I agree 100% with your statement. Satan wants to attack wherever he can get to us. When we get distracted by those trivial things and aren’t looking to God is exactly when satan makes his move! He’s such a jerk like that!

  4. ❤ 🙂

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