asurprisecalling

Following our calling to the Dominican Republic

Truths

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I was told to expect this.  I was told to be ready…but I wasn’t prepared.  No one gave me a manual on how to do this.  I don’t have anyone to ask…

I think I underestimated…well, everything…about this.

Some days I feel like I am on an island…without a boat…but knowing that I need to leave…

…but not knowing how to do it.

This going…this waiting…this fear…this excitement…this feeling of unworthiness…this feeling of being unprepared…

No on told me…how hard it would be!

It’s easy to feel alone.  It’s easy to feel overwhelmed.  It’s easy to feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

No one prepared me for this spiritual warfare…where Satan’s LIES feel like TRUTHS.  When he tells you that you can’t do this…or that you are unworthy…or that you are too weak…

…and you begin to believe the lies.

When you feel ungrateful for feeling these things…when you feel that you don’t have the strength…when you forget who you are.

No one prepared me to hear HIS voice tell me that those are LIES…

…for Him to put angels in my life to speak HIS words to me…

…for Him to tell me that I am worthy…that He chose me…because He knows that He can use me in all of my mess and brokenness to help make the world a better place…for His glory…

…for Him to love me unconditionally…and forgive me of my doubt

No one prepared me for feeling Him…breaking me down…teaching me how to let go of SELF…

No one prepared me for how it would feel for Him to pick me up…off the floor…dry my tears…and tell me the TRUTH…that I am not alone!

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4

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